


Everything The Devil Can’t Be

by kimtp2014



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst and Romance, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-15 01:50:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15402333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimtp2014/pseuds/kimtp2014
Summary: Alex/OC. Alex deserves a normal girl in his life. Katrina needs someone to lean on. She knows nothing bad and he knows nothing but bad.





	1. Breathe

Chapter 1   
Just Breathe  
This is set at the beginning of season 8. There is a gap in the time they teach new interns so I am making up a new class. 

At 5:00 am the bells started chiming. The bells of my alarm that is. They didn’t wake me up, couldn’t because I have been awake for about two hours now. Sighing, I blindly started tapping my phone until the chiming stopped.   
Breathe in.   
Breathe out.  
Continuing in the steady pattern of breathing I let my bare feet ready in the chilly wood floor. It’s September here in Seattle, well September everywhere I suppose. The beginning of fall. The season of change. Very appropriate seeing as how my whole world has changed. I stared at a slight amazement of the frost in the corners of my bedroom window and then made my way to the bathroom.   
Turning the shower on as hot as it could go I started my morning absolutions. My morning shower is like the first cup of coffee in the morning for everyone else. I don’t drink that bitter tasting brown water. What a horrible way to start a day. Drinking bitter bean water. I much prefer something sweet. Apple juice is my go to morning drink. Because I’m a two year old. Well, actually 23.   
Yawning and stretching like a cat I stepped into my hot shower. Today is my first day as a surgeon. I am Dr. Katrina Giantino. A new beginning. A change fitting for the season.   
I moved here about a week ago for this internship. Leaving my big, loving, crazy Italian family in Florida to the opposite side of the country. In the cold. I hate the cold. This week has been nice in the 50’s and 60’s, but that will come to a crashing end soon. My breathing starting to become irregular prompted me to start singing. Singing is my hobby and secret-not-so-secret way of remembering to breathe. Anxiety is so much fun.   
Everybody has a thing. That thing that makes them weird. The quirks that defines them in some way. Mine is my horrible breathing skills. Between asthma and anxiety I have managed to turn a normal bodily function that is an instinct to the average person, into a disaster. That’s right, I suck at breathing.   
Turning off the shower freshly clean and shaven, I wrung out my long dirty blonde hair that fell to my bottom, wrapped myself in a fluffy teal towel and walked over to the chair in my bedroom that had the clothes I planned to wear laid out. I picked out a pair of black leggings and a cobalt blue sweater dress with knee high boots and a long black necklace to match. Being 5’3” and 23 is not a great thing to be if you want people to take you seriously. Combine that with my blonde hair and D cup breasts and you can pretty much guarantee that nobody takes me seriously.   
Meanwhile, I ended up taking things seriously throughout my education. It started in kindergarten when I was pushed up a grade since I was a good reader. Then again since my reading skills proved superior for an elementary schooler. And then again in high school when I was offered the opportunity to go into the early college program. At sixteen I was valedictorian at both my high school and associates graduation. I got my masters degree at twenty and my doctorate at twenty-two. Somehow I managed to act like a normal person with people skills through choir and church and work.   
After trying several hairstyles on in my head I realized that I can be putting my obnoxiously long hair up and down all day. Way too much work. So, I grabbed my brush and donut and put my hair into a donut bun. Cute but sturdy. Done with that I started my Sephora approved makeup routine some contouring and eyeliner can do wonder for making you look like respectable doctor.   
Too nervous to eat I opted for a banana for breakfast. I grabbed my orientation packet off the counter, my lunchbox from the fridge. I checked the oven clock, the glowing green number read 6:45. Perfect. I rushed down the three flights of stairs to my apartments lobby and out the doors. Luckily I was just across the street. Expert planning on my part. I ran across the street and all the way to the entrance of the hospital. The. I came to an abrupt halt. My heart was racing even faster with running.   
Breathe in.   
Breathe out.   
I can do this. I am smart and strong. I am beautiful and nice. I can do this.   
Breathe in.   
Breathe out.   
I can do this. I earned this. I am woman hear me roar. Seattle Grace/ Mercy West Hospital here I come.


	2. Smile

I smiled   
Chapter 2  
Same day second chapter! Please read and review.   
Breathe in.   
Breathe out.   
I gave myself a pep talk and I am ready to go. I Walked through the sliding doors to a lively hospital atmosphere. It was ten till sevens I had plenty of time to go to the HR department and turn in my paperwork. Following the signs I made way there.   
There were a handful of other interns doing the same thing. I didn’t recognize them. There was an internship gettogether that I was invited to but I didn’t go to it. Drinking from nine to eleven the night before the scariest day of my life. No thank you. I like my sleep. Granted I hardly slept last night but that is besides the point. After turning in my paperwork I made my way to the third floor intern “lounge” aka locker room. It had boring beige walls with beat up beige lockers and the musty smell that all locker rooms seems to have. There were about fifteen or so people picking out lockers. I decided to pick one in the last row top shelf. I threw in my giant purse that carried a pair of sneakers and my white coat and lunch bag. Then I sat on the wooden bench that was nailed to the floor and waited. I didn’t have to wait long. A tall black man with a white goatee that I knew to be Dr. Weber came in.   
Dr. Weber has that kind of personality that demands to be listened too. A natural born leader. Having an interview with him for this position was scary enough over Skype. In person he was Godlike. Yep, I read all his work before the interview and watched a couple of his surgeries that were available to view online. I’m a surgeon obsessed nerd. Sue me.   
“Welcome to Seattle Grace/Mercy West Hospital. As you know I am Dr. Weber and you are this years set of surgical interns. Let’s start the tour.” We all immediately lined up and followed like little ducklings that imprinted. We started at the ER.   
“ I thought there would be more action going on” whispered an intern with black hair brown skin and slight accent. My guess, he was from India. “Right man, I heard this place was the place to be to see some real action.” This came from a brown haired pale skinned intern who was at least six feet tall.   
“Jason” he held out his hand.   
“Amir” he shook his hand.   
“And the boys club begins” murmured a woman from some Asian descent. She turned to me.   
“Watch those idiots be the first to scrub in.”  
I smiled at her. “Well if they are truly idiots I don’t think we have to be worried.” I muttered back.   
“Amy Xio” she then followed the boys pattern and stuck out her hand.  
“Katrina Gianatino” Amy had the perfect hands for a surgeon. Long thin fingers, short clipped nails, and I could see the muscles in her palm flex.  
“It’s nice to meet you” I smiled. Amy seemed very smart. But kinda a bitch. She was the type of girl who liked to ask questions to seem smart. She would then write them down on a clipboard. A freaking clipboard. I probably should judge too harshly since I had index cards in my pocket.   
The hospital is laid out like most hospitals the ER and Imagining along with waiting rooms and a cafeteria were on the first floor. Recovery and ICUs were on the second floor. And so it went for 5 floors. It wasn’t him we went back to the third floor that I knew it was time to see the ORs. A reverential kind of quiet went on throughout our group. The kind of quiet that went on right before entering a church. Where you knew something greater than you resided and the people in it are the only people that could understand that feeling. It’s a spiritual thing to come into an OR. It has so much potential. How many lives were saved here? How many lives were lost? What kind of ghosts reside here? And will I add people to either list?  
I was one of the last people to enter the room. The downfall of being short. The back wall was all clear plastic shelving with prepped trays. The tile was scuffed and scraped but had that sterile kind of clean. The bed table was shiny and clean like an angel with a halo of light around it from the ceiling lights. I turned to look at the wall behind me. It was completely glass. It was basically two separate windows. The bottom planes were windows showing us the scrub room. Then I craned my neck upwards practically touching my back to look up onto the observatory deck.   
I may have blushed a little. Attending a and residents alike were looking at us like a newly discovered species. I couldn’t make out the people in the back row but I could recognize a few faces in the front row. I could see Dr. Robins the Peds attending and who I wanted to learn from the most. Next to her was a black haired doctor with wide cheekbones and brown eyes. On the other side of Dr. Robins was a doctor I recognized as Dr. Yang who was mentioned in a few medical journals I read. Next to her was a scowling man with brown hair. While he looked angry he was also nice looking. His hair looked soft and his skin was tanned. He also seemed muscular under his scrubs, but it is hard to tell with a white coat in the way. He could just be fat. There were others in the room. All of them talking and laughing. I think I even saw some taking and exchanging money. Great they were taking bets on us. Not surprising though, surgeons are the medical fields football player. All of them addicted to adrenaline and keeping score. And I was one of them now. Even though I felt like a minnow and they looked like sharks ready eat me. Maybe more like dolphins. Dolphins look sweet and innocent but they can be cruel. They never stop moving, they socialize, have their own language, and have a lot of sex. They also like to play with their food. I swallowed. I focused on my breathing. I didn't know about the sex part, but they definitely liked to play with their food, these surgeons.   
A throat was cleared that could only belong to Dr. Weber. “Each of you comes in here today hopeful. Wanting in on the game. A month ago, you were in med school, being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors," I looked up to see some of the doctors saying or mouthing the words along with Dr. Weber. I smiled and looked away. It seems this must be a traditional welcome speech. Which Explains it’s excellent execution. "The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of your will crack under the pressure, two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play... that's up to you," he said as We all looked around at each other.   
I wasn’t too excited about the competing part, but at the same time I feel the need to compete and win. “ Alright people, back to the locker room”. We all shuffled reluctantly out of the room and back to the locker room. We picked up a set of scrubs that were designed to us of a table on the way.   
I quickly changed once I made my way back. Making sure the pins in my bun were still secure I bent down to tie my blue and pink Nikes. By the time I got up residents and attending a we’re picking up their interns. I hadn’t heard my name yet so I grabbed a granola bar and scarfed it down in one gulp. I have been working and volunteering in hospitals since I was fourteen. I knew how hard interns had to work and how they sometimes went an entire day without eating. I think better when I’m not hungry. The tour had calmed my nerves enough to not be nauseous. But now that I saw I was one of the last few interns left those butterflies started to fly again. I saw Dr. Robins come and go already so I knew it was unlikely to get into pediatrics today. A short and angry looking black woman came into the room Kennedy, Gianatino, Xio, Parker, Patel, you’re with me let’s go. She started walking at such a fast pace for someone so small.   
“I am Dr. Bailey. I have five rules, memorize them. Rule number one - don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not gonna change," she said, I have heard similar speeches before so I didn’t bat an eyelash, "Trauma protocol, phone list, pagers - nurses will page you. You will answer every page at a run - a run - that's rule number two!" Dr. Bailey continued as the interns quickly grabbed their pagers from the main desk and followed her, "Your first shift starts now and lasts 12 hours. You lucky little babies you. Due to laws passed in 2003 you cannot work longer than 14 hours a day, because you people always screw things up and then blame it on lack of sleep! You're interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, work every second night until you drop, and don't complain! On-call rooms," she spoke, opening the door to a small room with a bunk bed and a small table, "Attendings hog them. Sleep where you can, when you can, which brings me to rule number three. If I'm sleeping, don't wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four - the dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only will you have killed someone, you would have woke me for no good reason. We clear?" she asked, and the interns all nodded a bit fearfully. She was good. I still had hope that she was actually nice. But I could tell she was a good surgeon. They don’t keep mean people unless they are good, because who wants to work with a bitch? We picked up our iPads from the nurses stations without stopping. I had an index card in my pocket with my login information. Me and my anxiety ridden self memorized the information a while ago.   
I was lucky enough to have have used the medi-tech software before at my old job as a CNA. So, I unlike the rest of our team had my eyes on Dr. Bailey who was leading us to the second floor.   
“Post-op patients. It is the first thing in the morning. You are going to wake them to see your ugly faces. They are not going to be happy. You say good morning, you smile, and you get done fast.” She walked into a room on the right.   
“ Xio, report” she handed Xio the chart.   
“ Suzy Carmichael. 39, post op patient with a pancreatic tumor removed.” She read this with a smile on her face acting like she was the smartest person ever.   
“What is the top concern for post op patients?” Bailey asked to the room.   
“Infection” I responded.   
“ What do we look for?” She asked me. “Fever, redness, tenderness, and leaking of any kind” I said immediately.   
“Fluids of any kind” she snorted. “A sense of humor. Good for you.” She snorted again a muttered to herself. “Parker, check the dressing. What do you see?” He expertly responded by saying “Aww sick man. I think it’s infected.” He looked at the scar like he wanted to poke it with a stick. It took all my self control not to roll my eyes. Amy was not as controlled as myself. “Let me see.” Bailey pushed the frat boy out of the way. When she completely took of the bandage I could see green discharge oozing from the surgical scar. The scar looked brand new. She was either a day or two post op. Before Bailey could finish checking the site I decided to speak up. While my heart was racing with the fear of being wrong I was still confident enough in this. “So, we should give her broad spectrum antibiotics and get a blood panel to make sure it’s nothing serious.” I stated. I tried to look casual looking at my iPad while saying this. I was really trying to figure out where my heart was wanting to run to. Hoping it would decide to stay in my chest. I was also trying to remember the damn room number. When I looked up I saw the rest of the interns checking little pocket books or notes. Except for Parker. He was still staring at the scar. I tried not to smile. I don’t want to act cocky. Working as a CNA gave me an edge for like two weeks. Maybe a month if they are all stupid. I needed to make friends or at least gain respect. I am a tiny cute little girl. I know that. Most girls would like that. I would prefer to be an ugly hulking giant. At least people would believe I know what I was doing.   
We checked on the rest of the post op patients most of whom were doing well. Bailey let us go to lunch before we start checking on her pre op patients. I decided to see if the cafeteria had edible food first. It seemed to smell good enough so I got in line with the rest of the group. Frat boy was getting one of everything. Amy a salad and Amir and Jason got a mix. I decided on a burger and fries. Screw healthy eating. I did that for breakfast.   
“So do you think that rumor of one of us getting to scrub in is true?” Asked Amir. “I heard that rumor too. I want in.” Amy replied. We walked over to a table that was open in the middle of the cafeteria. Our table was right next to the residents and attendings. “I’m just focused on surviving this place.” Jason said as we sat down.   
“You will never survive this place if that’s your attitude. Surgeons are sharks. There are 20 interns who are all dying to get near a scalpel. If you aren’t willing to die for it go home and make easier for the rest of us.”  
“Well damn Amy!”  
“She harsh but it’s true.” I said after a big swallow of burger. “The people who are going to be real surgeons. The good ones. All of us will be fighting for that surgery. Whatever it is.” I continued to scarf down my food. The other interns continued to talk about the likelihood of one of us doing a surgery. I nodded and smiled along with the conversation. I would usually be an active part of the conversation. I liked people. I get people. Which means I was fully aware of our residents and attendings sitting at the table beside me.   
Practically brushing my shoulder was the scowling guy from the observation room. I overheard his interns call him Dr. Karev. He had his chair pushed out far so he could stretch out his legs. If I wanted to I could reach out and touch his shoulder. Surrounding him was Dr. Grey, Dr. Shepard the other Dr. Grey, Dr. Bailey, and Dr. Torres. I was proud to remember all the names. Of the surgeons.   
Dr. Yang cam to the table and placed a tray down angrily. She shoved Dr. Grey over a little to share a chair with her. “They are all idiots!” She cried. “You have any good ones” she turned to Dr. Grey. “Not really.” “Imagine how I felt with you trouble making idiots” Bailey interjected. “They literally have no idea what they are doing. We were never that stupid.” Dr. Karev said while also chewing on a burger. “Uh-huh” Dr. Bailey snorted at him. “I have an intern who may be smarter than you lot” she informed him. “That’s right. You got the child Prodigy.” Dr. Shepard said to her. “What child Prodigy?” Dr. Grey asked. “I’ll trade you any of my interns for a child prodigy. Even the one who is good at charting.” Dr. Karev pleaded, sitting up in his chair. Causing a slight breeze tickling the baby hairs on my neck. “No way. I deserve a competent surgeon after what you put me through. She’s mine for the rest of the week and I am giving her up for your idiots.” Bailey declared. She stood up and walked over to our table that had gotten quiet while she said this. “Gianatino, lets go. You can observe a whipple this afternoon. The rest of you do scut on all my patients. Get labs, chart, answer calls” she just continued to walk never stopping. Meanwhile the rest of us followed with various stages of shoving food in our mouths.   
“Sweet!” I shouted. Then I quickly shut my mouth and covered it with my hand. My fellow interns looked at me like I was the antichrist. The table of residents looked at me curiously. I caught the eye of Dr. Karev. His eyes were a golden brown color. A cinnamon color maybe. He quickly looked me up and down at I round the corner with Bailey. If it were any other situation I would think he was checking me out. But, he had to be about ten years older than me. I was also much younger than the rest of the interns which I knew was an anomaly. No, he, like the rest of the surgeons, would now be studying me to see if I can take it. See if I can do what needs to be done at such a young age. I was used to this. Graduating high school the same year you get your license has taught me that age is definitely discriminated against.   
I think Bailey kind of maybe like me. It was hard to tell. But she did let me in on the surgery. On the other hand all she did was quiz me. She never told me if I got the answer right or wrong but I assume since she didn't kill me I was doing okay. The procedure took another four hours. Leaving me only with three hours left of my shift.   
“Thank you Dr. Bailey. For letting me scrub in and observe and for teaching me.” I said while scrubbing out. She looked at me with squinted eyes “you got into an OR stop sucking up” she said as she dried her hands and walk out of the room. I think she smiled in the way out.   
After that surgery I decided it was necessary to take a clonazepam. I didn’t have time to grab one before the surgery and the panic I had been holding back was coming onto me in full force. I am good with blood, guts, puke, after being a CNA nothing really grosses me out. But I had never seen organs alive and working before. It was a moment to behold. To cherish the amazing works of the body. I put my fingers to the small cross on my neck. God was not my main reason for becoming a surgeon but he definitely plays a part. After all He is the one the ultimately decides how it’s going to go in the OR. The cross was he same one I received on my baptism. Same chain and all.   
The gold cross was about the size between two knuckles on a single finger. Maybe smaller. Instead of straight line it looked like a ribbon. Little loops nesting in the middle to cradle a small sapphire, my birthstone. To hold it on my neck was the thinnest chain anyone with ever see. You have to use a microscope to see the interlocking links. Trying to get see the clasp let alone hold it was next to impossible. Which is one of many reasons I never took it off. Catholic guilt may be a factor as well.   
Holding my good luck charm I focused on my breathing while walking into the main area by the entrance. All the interns were standing around and gossiping. Guessing who will be the first to scrub in. I could tell from some of the glares I was getting a was a prime candidate. I tried to stand as tall as a 5’3” person could. I kept my head straight and high not really looking at anyone or anything. All of the residents and attendings that were available were standing on the steps. A grand staircase that seemed to make Gods out of men when they stood there looking down at us. A gingered haired man who I knew was the new chief of surgery started to speak.   
“ Alright everyone. I know you are tired and have worked hard today. So, I’m just going to get into it. After a discussion with your residents we have decided on the best intern to scrub in. Usually we have the intern do something simple. But, that was just not in the cards today. So they get to assist on a whipple.” My group of interns groans and started to stare at me. I was shaking in my sneakers. I hadn’t decided if it was from excitement or fear. Probably both. I tried my best to play it cool.   
“ After some discussion we decided Dr. Gianatino will be the one to assist Dr. Webber on a Whipple. You should all take note and follow her example.” He told the group much to my embarrassment. To make matters worse he was looking around the crown for me. “Uhh where is…” I started to make my way forward. “Thank you, Dr. Hunt. Thank you Dr. Bailey and ever as well. I promise to do my best!” I told them smiling. My parents always told me that they paid a lot of money for braces to my smile so pretty, so I better use it.   
“ Well let’s see what you can do Dr. Gianatino.” Dr. Weber said while ushering me up to the OR. As I scrubbed in both Bailey and Weber quizzed me on the procedure.   
I took another deep breathe. I focused on my breathing. My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty. Actually I felt the glisten of sweat all over. I was starting to make my way up the panic attack ladder. Do not freeze. Do not freeze. I chanted this to myself along with other encouraging sentiments. I didn’t want to take another clonazepam after having one less than an hour ago. So I started to sing in my head. Music is a great coping mechanism to whatever ails you.   
I got into my place to assist and checked out all the tools on the tray to make sure it was set up right. “Oh Dr. Gianatino, your on the wrong side of the bed.” Dr. Weber informed me. I looked around confused. “This is where the assisting surgeon stands” I could feels my brows furrowing. “It is. You will be performing this surgery as the lead surgeon.” He said matter of factly. “Sir, I don’t think…” I begun to say. “Let’s get started shall we. You saw one and now you will do one” he had somehow ushered me into the other side of the table. My heart wasn’t racing. It was in a rocket traveling at the speed of light. I think it was beating so fast it wouldn’t even register on a monitor. I suddenly felt the need to go to the bathroom. Or shit my pants, which was becoming the more likely option in my state of anxiety.   
My ears started to ring. I looked up and the blurry figures of surgeons laughing at me and exchanging bets. I suddenly felt an elbow in my ribs. “Don’t look at them look Michael here.” Weber instructed me. “Okay” I nodded. Well best just get it over with I decided.  
“Scalpel” I held my hand out for the nurse to hand it to me. “Thank you…” I drifted off realizing I didn’t know the nurse’s name. “Fran” she informed me. “Right. Hi” I said awkwardly. Weber cleared his throat. “Ok. Making lateral incision” I stated what I was doing. Or trying to do. I realized with embarrassment. My cheeks were blushing now. “Today Gianatino” Weber commanded. “Yep. Okay.” I gulped. I made the incision and crimson blood welled. I was still shaky. I was trying so desperately to calm down. “ Are you okay Gianatino?” Weber finally asked. I looked up. The crowned was bigger. I could see most of my fellow interns waiting for me to fail. Frat boy seemed excited. I couldn’t tell if it was for me to fail or succeed. Another intern I hadn’t met with chocolate hair and blue eyes stared intensely at me. Then I looked to the residents. Most didn’t look to hopeful. Dr. Karev happened to catch my eye. He was standing off to the side with hand on his chin looking thoughtful. I couldn’t really see any emotion his face. But there was something in his eyes. A glint or spark, whatever you want to call it. I like like to think it was hope. Hope for me. I remember that hope. The hope I had for hours studying for exam after exam. Just me, a highlighter, and my playlist  
I took another breathe. “Is it okay if I try something a little unorthodox?” I turned and asked Weber. “Anything at this point will be nice” he said. “Great” I replied and smiled.   
I started to hum. Throughout the next three hours I hummed through what felt like every hymph I knew. And possibly an entire Carrie Underwood album. But I did it. I went through the surgery without a hitch. Humming aloud me to recall all the things I learned and already knew. Repeating the familiar action of my studying put me in the zone. After I finished sewing up the pancreas that was left with the duodenum I looked at Dr. Weber. “I did it” I looked at him smiling under my mask. “So you did” he seemed to smile under his mask too. “I’ll close up Dr. Gianatino. You’re already an hour passed your shift. Go home get some rest. We are gonna do the same thing all day tomorrow.” He said this as he started sewing the abdominal wall back together while pushing intestines back into their place. “Are you sure? I would love to…” instarted but he didn’t let me finish. “Go home Katrina and get some rest” he said to me kindly. I practically skipped out of the room.   
I cleaned up and went to my locker to change. I was coming down from the adrenaline rush and starting to feel the exhaustion set in. I took the elevator to the first floor. Ready to walk home. As I was getting off another doctor walked in. I turn d to see Dr. Karev. I smiled and kept walking.   
“ Hey” he said called out in a voice husky from lack of sleep. “You helped me get $100 today.” He informed me. “Ah, so you did bet on me” I turned and crossed my arms. “I read your file you know.” He looked me up and down. Trying again to size me up. “I helped pick out some of the interns this year. I don’t think I’ll bet against you anytime soon. So don’t screw up” He ordered me. “Wasn’t planning on it” I said. He let the door shut and I made my way out of the hospital. Today was a good day. I smiled.


	3. A fighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation is had.

Chapter 3  
A fighter  
Please read and review!  
I don’t think I ever understood the expression dead tired until now. It was a beautiful Saturday morning in Seattle. The sun was out and the air was crisp. A glorious sunny day, rare for Seattle, and I am stuck in this hospital. Don’t get me wrong I love it. This job is everything I have ever wanted, but a week of this cool weather made me long for home. I was only the first week of September but it’s chilly here. In Florida kids would be in school trying to make friends with those who had boats. Adults and kids alike would be daydreaming of Labor Day barbecues. Both dreading and relishing in the intense heat and humidity that Florida brings in the summer. It would feel like you’re swimming in the air. Damn breezes would cool you off and hopefully blow away pesky mosquitos. Bathing suits and and fall sweaters would both be going on sale. Yep Florida was a weird place. Here, I was lucky if it got up to 70 degrees. And I haven’t even been to the beaches here yet. I missed my crazy little home state. Everyone there was either a senior citizen or 20. There is no in between. So, when working at a hospital in Florida, it wasn’t as bad when someone died. You could always say they lived a long life. I hardly ever saw patients that were under 50 and their lives didn’t rest in my small hands. Hands that I stretched out and looked at. Bailey has me and the frat boy, who I think is named Tyler, doing codes all day. I have seen codes before. It’s an exhilarating experience. For the few minutes it takes to bring someone back or declare them dead everyone in the hospital gets along. Rank is pushed aside, titles don’t exist, everyone is absorbed into one giant body with more arms than an octopus all trying to save the patient's life. The head of the body, the doctor usually, shouted orders and everybody takes place and follows in turn like a ballet. And I’m if you’re lucky you get to feel like God, just for a minute. The power to bring someone back to life is an intoxicating feeling. So I couldn’t blame frat boy, I mean Tyler, too much for bragging.   
“Come on shorty, hurry up! We get to save lives today!” I think he might actually be skipping.   
While childish, I couldn’t help but smile. This was something really important. And Tyler’s joy was infectious. He may be a frat boy but his raven colored hair, blue eyes, and perfect white smile was a heady combination many a girl could not resist. “Yes, we do” I looked up and grinned at him. Then frowned, “Don't call me shorty.” I tried to serious and professional. He laughed and patted my hair. “You look like an angry tinkerbell. After you” he said this as we were getting onto the elevator.   
I decided to ignore his need to nickname me. I didn’t really care too much about it anyway. I like to think I’m easy going and he was cute so maybe I’ll let it slide. “So how do you want to do this? We take turns taking lead?” I suggested to him.   
“Sure, whatever you want. Me first!” He shouted this as we got off the elevator to hear the speaker announce a code blue. We ran to the room and looked at the body of the fifty-something year old man. We both froze for a second. Then I turned to him, “Well go!” I shouted at him. The nurses were looking at us like we were useless, but a doctor had to run the code since a doctor was the only one who could legally declare someone dead. “R-right. Alright he’s in v-fib. Let’s push one of Epi and get a crash cart in here.” Tyler started to shout. He looked a little scared initially, but he pulled it together pretty well. He shouted orders like a general and we all complied. It’s took only two shocks to get this guy back. He seemed a little loopy but after getting his vitals stable and checking for brain damage I decided he would be alright, barring any other complications. I picked up my iPad from where I dropped it by the nurses station and went back into the room to see Dr. Yang checking up on her patient. She was the one to give, who I now knew as Mr. Jenkins, a valve replacement.   
“Good you two managed to not let my patient die. Frat Boy, you were in charge of the code what should we do next?” Yang stared him down. In japanese culture there was a fox demon called a Kitsune. Yang may be Korean, but looking at her reminded me of this tale. Kitsune create chaos and feed of fear. They fight dirty with teeth and claws and cunning.   
“Uh- we should…” Tyler attempted to respond. But he was caught up in her death stare and kept stammering. Yang made a buzzer sound. “Too slow, what about you Prodigy?” I quickly responded back, too afraid to mess up. “Mr. Jenkins need an EKG and possibly an echo. I suspect his arteries are still a little clogged. If you don’t think you are opening him up again I would start him on some blood thinners.” I said all this while looking at Mr Jenkins, who was sleeping. I was watching the slightly unsteady rise and fall of his chest to watch his breathing.   
“Congrats Prodigy. You paid attention in school. Nice call on the blood thinners. Hopefully you don’t kill anyone today.” She took the chart from its place on the wall and scribbled some notes. “Don’t you think you two should be answering that” she never looked up for her notes. I stared at her in confusion for a second before I heard the calm voice announce a code blue. “Shit!” I exclaimed and started to run. I think I heard some cackling as we sprinted down the hall.   
Tyler had to ruin the good opinion I was starting to have of him by taking the next code too. Damn him and his long legs! The only consolation of being short is I’m at an excellent height to get a glimpse or two of his rather good looking bottom. This code was done on a 92 year old woman. I wasn’t surprised that she didn’t make it. It’s still sad all the same.   
“You can tell the family. I’ll clean up here.” Tyler said rather magnanimously. Well he tried. “Oh no. You killed her, you can explain what happened to the family.” I grabbed the chart and looked for the page I need. Just as I was about to write the required information the chart was taken from me by Tyler. “Excuse me!” I grabbed the chart back. There was no way I was going to deal with a crying family that I had nothing to do with. I was not emotionally strong enough to deal with all the patients he will kill. “You’re a girl you better with this stuff. So I'll Run the code and you can do what’s left.” The idiot actually smiled like he was doing me a favor. “So what you’re really saying is you get the fun part while I can be your janitor and secretary. Oh! And let’s not forget you’re damn walking greeting card.” I was steaming now. “This is a learning experience. We will have to run codes for the rest of our careers! We will also have to deal with the fallout when we fail to bring them back! Now put on your big kid pants, man-up, and two that poor family what they deserve to hear!” While I was saying this he walked over to the nurses station. So, we started to have an audience watch our argument.  
“Damn girl chill. I was trying to give you the easy part.”   
“No you’re trying to be a sexist pig! Or-or a-a stupid frat boy slacker! You need to do your damn job. Because one day there won’t be tiny little blonde girls you can try to over power. Now give me the chart!” I grabbed it from his hands and went to sit on a chair behind the desk.   
“Is there a problem here!” Dr. Bailey walked toward us. My head snapped up. I was freaking out. But I needed to stand my ground. I knew I had to stand my ground.   
“No, I am going to finish this chart. Dr. Parker is going to inform Mrs. Truit’s family that he was unable to revive her. Then, I will take the next code.” I went back back to charting. A code blue was called over the intercom. I snapped up.   
“Well, alright then. Looks like you have a code to handle. Let’s go.”   
“You mean you’re coming?” I asked while running. “I like to be entertained while I check my Facebook” she told me matter of factly. “Ok” I was nervous now. Codes aren’t as bad as people think. The steps are very clear and almost always the same. The key to move fast. Bailey walked in and sat in a chair on the corner while nurses scattered about. I decided to ignore her while she pretended to play on her phone. Yeah, I knew she was pretending. No one can text while someone is on a table dying   
“Alright, I need one of epi and let’s get a crash cart in here! Move people!” I started compressions while a nurse I didn’t recognize pushed the medicine through the IV. The crash cart came in. Finally!   
“Ok. Charge to 100” I placed the paddles in the appropriate spot and shocked him. No response. “Alright. Charge to 180.” I shocked him. No response. “Charge to 360! Come on Harold! You need to fight! You have a grand baby coming!”  
We had Harold all week after he got a portion of his liver removed. It’s funny how when a person is dead, even if only a minute, they don’t even look the same.   
I still wasn’t getting a response. “That’s it! Don’t die!” I yelled in his ear then I punch him in the chest to shock his heart into beating. His heart beat twice then went out again. “Ok I need a milligram of adrenaline.” At this point it had been about ten minutes since he coded.  
“Please work!” I yelled and stabbed him the heart with the needle. I stared at the monitor. The three seconds it took to for his pulse to start up again took an eternity. “Oh thank Jesus!” I exclaimed. The room started to congratulate itself and then cleaned up. Bailey stood up at walked over. “He was down for ten minutes. Why did you other with the adrenaline. Most wouldn’t bother.”  
Those are the steps. I went through them again. Adrenaline is one of the last resorts next to cardiac massage. “Because it was the last thing I could do.” I told her. I was pretty confident that I did this right.   
“You know, most interns would just declare him dead. But because you took extra measure you won’t have to talk with the family. Like Parker still hasn’t done!” She slapped the back of his head with the binder. “Get off your rump and do your job!” She continued to hit him and yelled through gritted teeth. He scattered away. “You can go to lunch. You unlike your buddies know how to learn a damn lesson.”   
“Thanks!” I yelled as she walked away. I was unsure what the lesson was but glad I wasn’t sucking.   
It was noon so the cafeteria, which actually had good food, was packed. Today they had chicken Marsala as the main dish. It was one of my favorites. I doubt it tasted anything like my family could cook, but it can’t be that bad. There was a table in the back that hadn’t been taken yet. It only had room for four which was more than enough for me.   
I had sat down for about 5 seconds before Dr. Yang set a tray down. “Prodigy, we need the table. Scram” she informed me bluntly.   
“Please for the love of God don’t make me go to the basement. I can eat again in that dark piece of hell while all the interns hate me.”  
I was practically whining. At this point Dr. Grey and Dr. Karev joined in at the table.   
“She said no. Can interns say no?” Yang turned to Grey with the question. Since Karev sat next to me I turned to him. I put on my best puppy dogs eyes. Which was easy to do since they were the same blackish brown color. “I made you $100 last week. You owe me!” I said to him.   
He leaned back in chair and crossed his arms. “Answer me a question and we will let you stay” he smiled at me. I rolled my head to crack my neck.   
“Ok, hit me.” I started preparing myself by mentally going over all the usual questions about infections and cancers. “Did you do everything you possibly could when you ran your code earlier?” He looked at me, staying in his casual position.   
“Of course. I can’t let someone just die without doing everything I know how. That’s what we do right?” I was confused as to why he asked.   
“Damn” Grey said and pulled out a twenty and Yang followed suit. “Ha. Knew it.” Karev smiled at his winnings. “You are making me a killing Prodigy.” I looked at them incredulously. “You bet on if I would do my job?”  
“No. I bet that you wouldn’t need that lesson.” Karev informed me while chewing on come chicken. “What lesson?”  
“That you need to try everything you possibly can before you go out and tell a family that their loved one was dead. That way you can tell them you did your best and mean it.” Karev told me this matter of factly.   
“Stupid empathy lessons” Cristina mumbled.   
“Yeah she pulls that one every year” Grey informed me. “You have to teach people to have empathy?” I asked. “Yep we are a bunch of cutthroat sharks who want to do nothing but cut. You should get on board” Yang informed me. “I seem to be doing well without acting like a bitch.” They all stopped to look at me. “I mean I’m very sympathetic. I don’t get ahead by sneaking around. I just know more.” They still stared. “I have worked in a hospital one way or another since I was 14. I started as a candy stripper and then I got my CNA license after I graduated from high school.” I took a bite of my now cold chicken. I take back what I said earlier the food sucks. “This is a horrible excuse for Italian. I can do better than this with a campfire.” I decided to eat my mashed potatoes instead.   
“You were a candy stripper and you cook. And your a Christian. You sound like the beginning of every porno.” Yang told me. While looking at the gold cross around my neck. I put my fingers to my little piece of home.  
“Catholic actually.” I responded, still eating.   
“If it weren’t for the fact that you’re like 12 you would totally be a porn star.” Karev said eying me sideways. “Well I guess I need to pay off those student loans somehow.” I muttered. Yang and Grey got a page. “Aww and Prodigy was just getting interesting” Yang said and they both got up and left their trays on the table.  
“ Yang’s right. You are getting interesting. Not just a bunch of brains up there you have a personality. Good for you.”  
“I’m glad you think so because you are going to be spending a lot of time with me.” I informed him.   
“Oh yeah?”  
“Yes, I will be a pediatric and neonatal surgeon. Give me a few years and I’ll cure childhood leukemia.” I told him smiling.   
“No. Now you’re boring again. Little girl wants to hold the little babies.”  
“That’s not why I want to be in peds” I told him.   
“Oh yeah why?” He sat back and listened. I got the feeling this answer would define how he saw me as a potential pediatric surgeon. He had a very intense look on his face.   
“I’m loud. I grew up in this big loud family so I know how to make my voice heard. And the kids need that you know. Parents like to think they know best, but honestly, after watching my parents and the rest of my family do it I know that there is no book for that kind of stuff and they just figure it out as they go along. But I read the books on surgery. I know how strong and weak a child’s body can be. When you work with a child you have more than just a surgery. Pediatrics is a fight from all sides. I can take it.” I looked at him and then looked down to collect myself. Being this brutally honest is painful. But when it comes to why someone wants to be a doctor and when that someone talks to a future mentor, you gotta get real.   
“I like you. Don’t screw it up.” He said then collected his tray and the others and walked away.   
“Hey!” I called out. “Why do you want to be in Peds?”   
“I’m a fighter.” He said simply and turned away.


	4. Make a Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Katrina’s birthday..... and Friday the 13th. Nothing can go wrong right?

Chapter 4  
Make a Wish  
New chapter. This took forever! Please read and review! I actually want to write and I’m an English major. I know my grammar sucks because I have no time to edit. But any thoughts and input on my writing style and story are great!!  
Instead of the usual bells of my alarm I woke up to the vibrating of my phone. This could only mean one thing.  
“Hey Mom” I answered the phone. I rolled over and tucked myself further into my blankets. “Happy birthday sweetie! I hope I didn’t wake you up, but I wanted to catch you before work.”  
“No it’s okay, shouldn’t you be getting ready for work?” My mother worked as a secretary at the local high school which started at the unholy hour of 7am. Although her shift started at 6:30. “It’s called multitasking. Something you master when you’re the mother of four, trust me” she informed me. I laughed.   
“So, do you realize this is the first birthday in your entire life where I won’t actually see you?”  
“Think of the bright side, at least this isn’t one where you have to give birth to me!” By this point I was up and making breakfast. Still drowsy since I haven’t had a shower to wake me up.   
My mom snorted. “Yes there is that. So listen, I decided since we all miss you that I will make a cake and we will celebrate using that FaceTime thing.” My family will use any excuse to party. Between our Irish and Italian blood we have mastered cooking and drinking for extended periods of time. To celebrate a birthday without the love of forty plus family members is unheard of. Then again so is moving to the west coast, or as my brother calls it “the wrong coast”.   
“Mom, I’m allergic to eggs so I wouldn’t eat cake if I was home with you anyway. Which you well know. Somebody just wants cake” I said this last part while chewing on a cinnamon bagel. So, it sounded more like “shombobby juss wan cake”.   
“Don’t talk with your mouth full” my mother scolded.   
“Don’t change the subject! You’re a chocoholic.” I was laughing while saying this. Bugging my mom was my favorite thing. “Katrina” my mother sighed. “You know what I gave birth to you. I should be celebrating with chocolate. Fourteen hours Katrina. Fourteen hours.” I laughed. “Hey, I was worth it. I’m a twenty-three year old surgeon. You get bragging rights at every PTA meeting ever” I said this jovially to her.   
“Yes I do. My daughter is perfect and I tell everyone I know.” I could picture the smile highlighting her laugh lines in her otherwise timeless face as she laughed. My mother took pride in her family as well she should. Having four kids is a lot of work.   
“Alright honey, I have to head out. We will call you later and you can blow out the candles on my cake.” She laughed.   
“Ok mom, love you, miss you.”  
“Love you too. Oh and your dad will probably call when he wakes up. And your brothers. And sister. And grandma.”  
“So the whole family. Like every year.” I laughed. At this point I was trying to change out of my clothes one handed.  
“Pretty much. Ok gotta go. Love ya”  
I smiled and finished pulling down the pajama shorts that wouldn’t budge along with my panties. Then I stepped into the shower. I thought about my family this morning. Being away for only a month is enough to make you terribly homesick. It’s the lack of noise I miss. Dad making coffee, dogs barking, fights over the shower. It’s so weird not having to tune out noise. It’s getting to the point that I make extra noise in the kitchen and sing really loud when I get ready.   
I finished my morning routine and saw it was raining. A ominous sign for Friday the 13th. Yep my birthday is on Friday the 13th. And no, I was not born on a Friday. Since I was so not walking in that downpour, driving it is. I walked down to the underground lot and got into my old silver Toyota Camry. I have had this thing since I was eighteen. I saved up for two years after working at the hospital and was able to afford an old 2004 Camry. It had a few quirks like the loose belts the squeaked when I turned in the engine and the back left window not rolling down. It had its quirks but it was mine. The whole drive took 5 minutes because of the stupid light. I parked next to a white Prius. And Amy walked out of it.   
She immediately started talking to me. “So did you hear?” She said this nonchalantly, even though I could tell she had questions and assumptions rolling around in her head. “No what?” Now I was curious about the news too. Amy was a bitch, but she didn’t hide it. She was better than Frat Boy.   
“Jason left the program” she took a sip of her coffee. “So I hear they accepted a transfer. Some girl from family practice. Bet she drops out in a week,” she speculated.   
“I don’t know about a week. But I bet she is going to be more lost than a hooker in church.” I added.   
She snorted. “We should make her do all the edemas. I will never look at water the same. We have two weeks ahead of her and I’m not sacrificing one second of OR time to help her. Family practice can handle and edema. Oh but what about IVs. They only needles they see are for flu shots.” At this point we were in the locker room changing out of our street clothes. I was struggling to get out of my leggings without pulling my underwear at the same time. The struggle was real.   
“Anyone is better than Tyler.” I turned to her. “Anyone” I repeated. She snorted. “Bailey had us doing IVs and central line together yesterday. Sexist pig.”  
“Hey, I can hear you, you know.” Tyler’s offended voice call 5 lockers down from us. “We don’t care” we both responded. I adjusted my usual donut bun and we all started to leave the locker room when a women I didn’t recognize walked in. “New girl. Nice.” Tyler looked her up and down. Amy, Amir, and I all rolled our eyes. “Ignore him. We all do.” Amir’s accented voice said from behind me. “Hi welcome to hell. See ya upstairs” Amy started out the door. “Nice to meet ya. Gotta go before she gets something good.” We were all finishing up a rotation with Hunt this week. Trauma was Interesting to say the least. We had a few car accidents and minor knife wounds to heal up. Apparently this was not the norm and it was usually more chaotic. Him and Kepner were great teachers.   
New girl’s green eyes looked confused as we all rushed away. Not a good start for her. She’s also pretty with her brown hair and pale ivory skin. I wonder how long it will take for Tyler to ask her out? He has tried to sleep with every female that has crossed his path under 40.   
“Alright. Dr. Patel take bed ten. Minor head wound just needs stitches.” Kepner handed him the chart.   
“Dr. Xio and Dr. Channing… Where is she?”  
“Here! I’m here” she was panting. She changed fast. Good for her. “Sorry I was late I was…”   
“Take bed 3 and bed 5” she handed them their respective charts. “Ok and Dr. Gianatino you…”  
“Actually I need to borrow her for a second. Kepner go watch over the interns.”  
“Sure” she smiled and went to help out the new chick who I guess was named Channing.   
“What do you need chief?” I was hoping for a cool surgery. Maybe neuro.   
“I need you to go to this gala tonight.” The gala he was talking about was an annual fundraiser gala to get funding for our various departments and programs. Interns weren’t typically invited. We stayed behind to make sure the patients didn’t die. So they tell us. I really think it was so someone was around that could page the doctors and give them an excuse to leave. They don’t like fundraisers anymore than the next person. “I thought interns didn’t get to go?”  
“They don’t. But you are a Prodigy and we need money to expand the internship program. So, you go dance, flirt, wear a pretty dress and get people to donate. After all, the more money we get, the more surgeries you get to do”  
“But I …” my phone started to vibrate in the pocket of my white coat. “You take that. Take bed 8 when you’re done. Remember 8 o’clock!” He shouted this and went outside to greet an ambulance. I sighed, pretty pissed the Hunt was basically threatening the surgeries I can scrub in on, and answered my phone.   
“Hey happy birthday Katrina” my sister Aria said tiredly.   
“Mom called to remind you and woke you?” I predicted. Aria like me and our brothers was not a morning person.   
“I hate her. I hate you. The only good thing about you being born is cake. Love you call you later.” She might be the worst of us all. I rolled my eyes and out my phone away. I was in a bad mood now due to Hunt whoring me out to old rich people. My sister bitchy attitude would not help matters further, so she probably did me a favor.   
I made my way over to bed eight. “Hi I am Dr. Gianatino. So it says here you have some abdominal pain Andrew. I said all this while I looked at his chart. “Yeah it started last night. Can I get some pain killers or something? I have soccer practice later.” I started my examination by doing the normal routine: eyes, ears, throat, temperature. “Oh yeah? High school soccer. How is that going” I started to palpitate his abdomen.   
“Yeah. It’s only just start… Ow!” He started groaning when I felt over his appendix.   
“Well Andrew. We will have to get a C.T. to be sure, but it looks like your appendix is coming out. Is one of your parents here? Or can I call them?” I asked sweetly.   
“Nah I can call her.”   
“Alright. I’ll go and schedule your C.T.” I smiled one last time and walked away. Great nothing Interesting at all. My phone started to ring again.   
I checked the caller ID. “Hey Johnny” This would be brother number two. Who was still in high school. “Hey I’m driving to school, so I have to make this quick. Happy birthday!”  
“Thanks kiddo. Shouldn’t you be in school already?” I said checking the time.   
“Yeah but…” he started but then Andrew started to groan loudly.   
“Ah gotta go.” I hung up and ran over to Andrew. He was curled into a ball holding onto his abdomen right where his appendix would be.  
“Someone page Peds!”  
“Andrew it’s going to be okay. It’s only your appendix. We are going to go in and get it right out out.”  
I started to put the railings up on the bed getting ready to transport him to the OR. “Alright, what do we got?” Dr. Karev said as he ran in.   
“Andrew Perkins. 17. Acute appendicitis. It just burst.” I informed him while he was examining Andrew.   
“Alright Andrew lets go get that thing out of you ok.” He started to push the bed toward the elevator. He handed me the chart. “Call his parents.” He said and then pushed the bed without me out of the elevator. I growled. Then I made my way to the nurses and called the poor kids mom and informed her of what was going on. She was understandably freaking out. Even though I wasn’t asked I decided to scrub in on the surgery. I haven’t held a scalpel since that first day and I was itching to cut something up. I scrubbed up and entered the OR. Karev was just about to cut. He didn’t look up when I entered.   
“I don’t remember asking you to scrub in Prodigy. Did you call the parents?” He said all this while still not looking up at me.   
“I called the mom and she is in her way.” I informed him. “Good. Get her up to date when she gets here.” He ordered me.   
“Until then I would like to observe or assist.” I asked as confidently as I could.   
“Not needed. Go wait for the mom in the waiting room.”   
“You may not need me but, I need you. I have watched one api before. I want to try to assist at least. I told them to page me when she gets here.” I was starting to get really annoyed with him. We have had several conversations. Somewhat meaningful conversations. He knows how much I want in on Peds. This day was so not going my way.   
“You can assist after the mom has been informed. As the intern, I need you to chart this and talk this through with the mother.” This time he did look at me.   
“Yes Sir.” I said and walked out. It took 45 minutes for the mom to get here. 45 minutes! The appendix was probably already out but now!   
“Hi Mrs. Perkins. I am one of the doctors working with your child. Let me bring you up to speed.” I sat down with her and explained the procedure and what would happen when he gets out.   
“This happens all the time right? So he will be fine. My baby will be fine right?” She grabbed my wrist.   
“Yes, this is a common surgery. He should be out soon. Dr. Karev is one of the best. He will do everything he can to make sure Andrew makes it through perfectly.” I squeezed her hands. I ran through my speech again to make sure I made no promises. Satisfied with my answer I decided I could go scrub in.   
“Mrs. Perkins, I am going to go check on Andrew. I will come find you when it’s done. It won’t be long now.” I told her. I walked away and then I ran down to the OR. I scrubbed in and entered.   
“Ok mom is up to date. Is there even anything let’s to do?” I asked defeatedly. I could see that he was making stitches. “Yeah you can close up. I could use a break today.” He decided to sit down next to the anesthesiologist. “Sure.” I sighed. I finished up what is basically glorified stitches and dressed the wound. As I was putting in the bandage on Karev stopped me. “Wait let me check.” He looked over my suturing. “Good job.” He put the bandage on and walked out. I followed him. “So what are the chances of me actually getting to touch a scalpel anytime soon?” I asked him. “Slim to none. You’re an intern. You need to do a good couple months of watching surgeries before any surgeon will let you go play with some organs. You may be a prodigy, Prodigy, but there is a protocol.” I stated at him. Today sucked. I don’t get to be with my family. I have to go to some stupid gala and pay for a dress. Oh and I get to do nothing in surgery! I took a deep breathe to try and calm myself. “See you at the gala tonight.” This was said as he was walking through the door. Then he poked his head back in. “For your sake I hope they don’t check ID at the bar.” He smirked and then walked out. “I’m 23!” I yelled back at him. Ignoring the fact that I have been 23 for only a few hours. Even though I had been telling people I was 23 for the past couple weeks anyway. Every year counts. I went to the cafeteria to grab some lunch. Saw that it was lasagna today and turned back around. I refuse to eat that bastardized version they call Italian. Yes, I’m a snob when it comes to Italian food, but nothing beats homemade. Instead, I went to my locker where I kept emergency food. I had chips, a box of granola bars, m&m's, and a banana. I grabbed the plain lays chips and m&ms. Feeling guilty about my poor diet I decided to grab the banana too. I made my way over to the tunnels and laid down on one of the unused beds. I still get a little uneasy with this group of interns who, like most surgeons, were bloodthirsty animals desperate to be in an OR. But now that we all have had a little time in the OR their attitudes have relaxed some toward me.   
Amir was there talking with new girl. Amy was at the vending machine. “So what did Hunt want with you?” Amy called referring to this morning. “He wants to pimp me out at the gala.” I opened my bag of chips and tried to chew as quietly as possible. “Oh wow that sounds like fun! And we are all stuck here tonight” this came from the new girl. I tilted my head back to I was able to see her. “That’s a bad thing. You guys will be the first people to get anything good that comes in tonight! Meanwhile I have to wear some uncomfortable spanx and flirt with old guys to get another surgery.” I groaned. Idiot didn’t have any idea how lucky she was. She was too new and not used to doing so much in such a long day.   
“Ha ha” this came from Amy. I threw an m&m at her. “I was actually commanded by the chief to flirt. If I wanted to flirt I would have saved thousands of dollars in student loans and worked at hooters. Or become a stripper!”   
“I’ll take pictures of and Interesting accidents. Maybe tonight I’ll get to scrub in on neuro!” Amy promised ever so nicely.   
“Best birthday ever” I groaned. Then I groaned again due to the heavyweight covering my body suddenly. “Birthday kisses for the birthday girl!” So the heavy weight was Tyler. I turned my cheek to avoid any lip contact. “Get off perv!” I yelled and pushed him into the ground. Then I threw my nana peel at him for good measure. “One of these days someone is going to put you into a sexual harassment seminar.” Amir informed him while Tyler was groaning on the ground. No longer feeling relaxed enough to lay down I sat up and rest my chin on my knees. “Nah, it’s all fine. And speaking of fine, I didn’t get to introduce myself this morning. How’s it going new girl.” The said new girl rolled her eyes. Well at least she was smart.   
“Lindsey, and no. Just no.” This got us all to laughing.   
Beepers started to go off. “Fun time is over.” I said as I got off the bed. We all headed up to the ER at a run.   
“Bus full of high school football players crashed on the interstate their ETA is three minutes. We have 40 high school boys on their way along with a few coaches and driver.”As Hunt said that we all put on our yellow gown and gloves. I lined up behind the attendings and residents. “You ready for this?” I turned to Lindsey who was gently shaking with excitement. She turned to me with bright green eyes that reminded me of a cats. “I have been waiting all day for this!” I had to crane my neck to her smile she was at least 5’7”. I could hear the sound of sirens approaching. I closed my eyes and took a breathe enjoying the light breeze, just for a second. Then my phone started to ring. I quickly checked the ID. It was my grandmother. She was 78 and had no patience for waiting. I had about 1 minute to answer this and get her off the phone. Jesus coming back from the dead was less of a miracle than getting my grandma to talk for less than a minute.   
I felt bad for even thinking it. She is such a wonderful person. She taught me how to bake and takes me shopping all the time. But the woman had no filter! I decided to suck it up and quickly answer. “Hey grandma!” I said as quietly as I could so nobody would hear.   
“Hello Princess.” She practically screamed. Amy, Amir, Lindsey, and Tyler all turned to look. Tyler was laughing as I pulled the phone from my ear. “You think this is funny? You can keep track of where all the students are so you can take the incoming parents to them. And you!” Bailey turned her wrath on me. “Get off the phone. You can do sutures.” She yelled at me. I winced.   
“I am trying the speaker phone. Your father set me up with an iPhone a couple weeks ago. Anyway I was just calling to wish you happy birthday baby girl!” If I wasn’t about to be killed by Bailey I would find this funny. Keep in mind she was still yelling. “Thanks grandma. Listen, I have to go. There is an ambulance coming in.” Bailey was glaring at me. I was seriously considering praying an “our father” at this point. “Oh Katrina, you never have time to talk. Alright sweetie. I’ll talk to you later.” She sighed liked I just told her she wasn’t allowed to go to a concert. “Love you.” I told her earnestly. “Love you more Princess.” She told me in reply and hung up.   
“Oh are you done? Can you work now?” Bailey asked me as a gurney passed. “I’m sorry it’s just…”   
“No one care that you missed your boyfriend Prodigy. This guy is fine. He needs stitches on his thigh.” Dr. Karev Interrupted me. I was getting really annoyed with him. I mean one second he is nice. He seems in my corner and happy to teach. Today he has a stick up his ass and get joy from denying me happiness. “Yes. Doctor.” I sighed and walked to his bed.   
“Sweet man, thanks for hooking me up with the hot nurse.” The idiot teenager laughed and Karev high-fived him. He high-fived him! And then went into the next bed. “Hi, I’m Doctor Gianatino. I’m just going to suture your thigh and you will be all set. I’m just gonna need to cut your pants.” I told the kid. “No need.” He went ahead and shimmied out of his pants. He was proudly standing at attention, happy to see me. Eww. He wasn’t the first to do something like this in the 8 years I have been working in hospitals. So I just sighed and prepped my tray. “Like what you see?” He had the gall to ask me. “So what is your name?” I asked him trying to open a new bottle of iodine. “Names Brian. What about you sweetness?” He smiled a crooked smile at me. His eyelids half closed.   
“Dr. Gianatino. Alright this might sting a little.” I told him as I prepped the needle. “Sweetness, I play football. Nothing hurts...ow!” He squeaked immediately after the needle punctured his skin.   
“Don’t worry. This will on be a minute.” I informed him. I stayed quiet as I finished up. It took about a minute just as I promised. He only needed 8 stitches to close the wound on his thigh. “Alright Brian. All done here. I’m just going to grab some ointment and check you over once more.” I did as I said and started to check him over. Everything seemed well, no brain injuries, and no hidden cuts. “Alright, just stand up for me Brian.” As I said that I remembered his lack of pants. “Ah.. let me get you some pants first.” I walked over to the nurses station and grabbed one of those cheap pairs of scrubs we keep for emergencies. I opened the bag with my teeth as I returned to his bed. I held out the pants to him. “Here we go. These might come in handy.” He got up and sat in the side of the bed. When he stood up he immediately sat down and groaned holding his knee. His pants weren’t all the way up so I quickly put them in the proper place to hide his little teenager penis.   
“Oh let me take a look at that knee.” I pulled the pant leg up and glanced at it. There wasn’t any bad bruising. I started to feel around and screamed. I took out my pager. “Alright Brian. I’m gonna get some more doctors to take a look but it looks like you have a torn meniscus ok? It’s no big deal. It’s a minor surgery and you’ll back on the field in no time ok?” I started to page Peds and ortho. “No, no surgery. I need to play tonight.” He begged me. “Nobody is playing tonight. Don’t worry ok.” At this point Karev and Torres were both approaching. “What did you do prodigy this was a stitch and ditch?” Karev sounded pissed. “He has a torn meniscus in his left knee.” I made sure not say I think I just knew he was the kinda asshole to make fun of that. “Oh yeah? Good catch Dr. Gianatino. That usually isn’t apparent until the next day.” Torres started checking it out. “She’s right. We are going to need an OR.” She directed this at Karev. “OR 8 is open now, let’s go.” They started to unlock the bed. “Wait, wait! I-I’m not ready. I need my mom and it’s not that bad.” He started to sit up. He was immediately pushed back down.  
I could see the panic rising in the poor kid. Being a familiar friend of anxiety, I pulled out a secret weapon. “Hey Brian look, it’s going to be ok.” I stroked his blonde hair. “Look we will all be there. The best doctors on the coast are going to be doing this itty bitty surgery on you. Ok? Take a breathe.” He started to even out his breathing. “O-ok. Yeah. I’m good. Could you just let my mom know when she gets here? Please?” He stared at me desperately as I stroked his hair. “Yeah, don’t worry about it kid. Everything will be fine.”  
“Ok. Ok. Hey, sorry I called you nurse and…” he eyed Torres sideways. Then he took a deep breathe and faced the music. “...showed off my dick.” Torres and Karev hid a laugh by coughing. “Alright let’s get this show on the road.” Torres announced and we all headed to the OR.   
I started to scrub in and Karev started in next to me. “You know, no one ever said you could scrub in.” He smirked at me. I was attached to this case now. No way was I letting him bully me out of a surgery. I could be wrong but I swear he made himself as tall and straight as possible while saying it. And is that… is that a grin?  
“Let her stay. She did good.” Torres argued for me. “I caught it and I want to learn how to fix it.” I told Karev, eyeing him down. He started to laugh. Laugh!  
“Torres look! The Frat Boy was right she does look like angry Tinkerbelle.” She walked around to see my face. She snorted, then looked to Karev. “You’re such an ass.” Karev was hunched over. “Ah, I have been giving her scut all day to piss her off. It was great.” My mouth was agape. I started planning on how to kill him. I’m Italian, I have mob connections and I am not afraid to use them. I threw my towel at him and gowned up in the OR.   
“Ah, today has been a great day. Nobody has dies and free food tonight.” Karev sighed.   
“I know I am excited to see my wife in heels. What about you Prodigy? I heard Hunt is making you go.” Callie asked while peeling back skin.   
“Not really. I have been ordered to buy a dress I will never wear again and I had different plans for tonight.” I informed her.   
“What? You gotta cancel a date with your boyfriend later?” Karev teased.   
“No I...oh crap I haven’t called and cancelled yet. Oh shit!” My family was going to be so annoyed. “Oh that sounds like it’s going well. Long term relationships never work.” I was annoyed with his bad attitude. So I decided to act out a little. “Well apparently I’m a Prodigy. I’m sure something as easy as love won’t be too hard to figure out.” I informed him snootily.  
At his point Torres was showing me how to peel back the minimal amount of muscle to expose the joint. This took a half hour to do. Then we got to work on the meninges of the joint. Well they did. I mostly did suction.  
“Love isn’t that easy.” Karev spoke up while we were sewing the muscle back. It took me a second to realize he was mentioning the conversation that had taken place at the beginning of the surgery. “Well clearly you aren’t loving the right people.” I snorted this at him. I knew he was thinking about relationships and romance. I was definitely no expert in that field. But I had a family that was easy to love. Not in spite of their quirks, but because of them. I smiled thinking of them. Then frowned and sighed remembering I would get to see them tonight. “She’s got you there Karev.” Torres laughed at him. “Yeah whatever. I gotta check on the rest of this team. You good here?” Then he walked out. “You can scrub out too. Get yourself a pretty dress. The gala is in a couple hours.” Callie said this without looking up.   
“Thanks! You’re the best!” I said to her. When I went and scrubbed out Karev was already gone.  
I went to the lobby to check and see if Brian’s mom was here yet. She was. But Karev was talking with her. She seemed a bit hysterical at first. I don’t know what he said to her but she hugged him then came over and hugged me. She then sat down next to another mom, cried a little, then pulled out her cell phone. Probably calling his dad. I turned and walked to Karev who had just finished talking to another parent. “What did you say to her?” I asked him.   
“I just told her he was fine thanks to you. You calmed him down and made him feel safe. That’s a big part of the job you know.” He said this while writing in a chart. “Don’t you have dress to buy?” He said and then walked away.   
I decided to follow the doctors order and headed over to the mall to get a dress. I wasn’t sure if this was a dancing kind of gala or a stiff lipped kind. I ended up going with a fun dress. I hate wearing black. It makes me think of funerals and with blonde hair and tan skin it just seemed weird.   
My dress was a fashionable two-piece. The skirt was a long chiffon red-cranberry color it was light and flowing and made me feel like a dancer in a shakira music video. The top was a sweetheart neckline with little useless straps that fell sexily off my shoulders. It was made entirely out of matte gold sequins. The top piece ended about three or four inches above the skirt, showing off a little midriff. Hunt said to get my flirt on and that’s what I did. I straighten my dirty blonde that was only a little wavy since it was in the bun I wore to work everyday. I loved my long hair like and Irishman loves beer, but it was pointless wearing it down at work. I didn’t bother considering curls since I knew my hair wouldn’t take them. I had a gold Smokey eye and cranberry lips. My winged eyeliner was sharp enough to kill. I grabbed a gold clutch and I was ready to go. I drove to the hotel that was around the corner from the hospital and prepared to enter. I managed to hold off my anxiety most of the day. But now that I was here it was hard to breathe. I decided some clonazepam was acceptable and swallowed a prescribed pill. I took a breath and walked into the hotel. I followed the signs posted to the ballroom.   
The ballroom opened up to red carpeted stairs. As I walked down I saw some people turn to mutter, probably about the girl with the crazy long hair. I looked for familiar faces. I found Torres and Robins dancing. Yang and Hunt were walking around separately and Shepard and Grey walked around together. I decided my best bet was to start with the food and bar cart. Alcohol sounded great. I ordered a cranberry vodka and made my way to the cocktail food. I was seriously disappointed.   
I was allergic to almost everything. It was just a bunch of keish and small cakes. I managed to find some cheese and fruit and went to the standing tables to munch on some food.  
It wasn’t long before Hunt brought some people for me to meet. “And this is the intern I was telling you about. Dr. Katrina Gianatino meet Mr. George Bradford one of our board members” I shook his hand and put on my Miss America smile. “A pleasure sir”  
“My goodness, they sure do make them young these days! How do you do my dear?” He asked kindly while his gaze skimpily traveled over my body. “I’m well. Thank you sir. Grateful that today the 13th only brought us one bus crash today.” I continued smiling big. He rested a hand lightly on my arm. “Oh you are a delight my dear! Come walk about the room with me. Let me introduce you to the rest of the board. They will adore you!” He placed soft wrinkled palm on my bare skin and led me around the room. I felt like a show dog on a leash. It was an hour before I could get away. More alcohol was definitely needed. When I walked to the cart a silvered haired doctor was laughing. “Oh that was just miserable to watch. I can’t decide what I want to know more. If he tried to run the bases with you or where the hell you were hiding all that hair Rapunzel. ” Dr. Sloan laughed at me. God he was good to look at. Too bad every nurse has told me to stay far away. Not that I would date him. He was a bit old for me. But I definitely wouldn’t tell home that!  
“Try living it.” I Muttered. I took a long drink and sighed. “I feel like Hunt’s star whore.” I told him. He laughed. “Well you are pretty, young, and a genius. You are tonight’s best money maker.” He smirked. “Yay me. Did you know he only ordered me this morning! If I am so pretty and smart, how hard is it to imagine I might have something better to do.” I pouted. “Cheer up Prodigy. You get a front row seat to tomorrow’s gossip.” He clucked my chin.   
“There is a reason I graduated high school early you know.” I looked at him innocently. “So, since you are the smartest of the interns you should consider plastics. I might even let you speak to a patient.” I had heard Avery come and complain to Kepner all week. “No, I think I will stick with Peds.” I smiled at him.   
“Oh, what a disappointment.” He smiled, winked and said “I’ll see ya around.” I laughed. I knew he wasn’t really flirting. It was obvious he was in love the other Grey. I made my way back to a table.   
Now that I had a minute to myself, I could wipe the fake smile off my face. My cheeks were sore from fake smiling. I kicked my heels off under the table and groaned. I pushed my hair to rest over the back of my chair.   
“I almost didn’t recognized you. Just look at that hair!” Kepner said and sat with me. “You look beautiful and miserable.” Kepner laughed.   
“Thanks. You as well.” She did look great in her elegant silk emerald gown. “That’s sweet of you to say. But it you who everyone has been whispering about tonight. The pretty genius doctor with the long blonde hair. Like a modern day princess.” As she said this Dr. Karev sat down in my other side. The musky cinnamon scent of his cologne invaded my senses. His presence carried a warmth to it that was lacking in this cold night. His cheeks were flushed with drink. His smile was bright and crooked. His shoulders were wide and strong looking in his gray suit. To sum it up he looked good on every level. It made it hard to hate him. “Princess sounds about right. How are you enjoying the ball Cinderella ?” He asked me not unkindly.   
At this moment my phone chose to ring. Oh crap! I knew I forgot something. I never told my mom I wouldn’t have to time to FaceTime tonight. “Excuse me I have to…”  
“Ah Katrina, my dear let me introduce you to colleague of mine.”  
“Oh Mr. Bradford I would love to but I need to take this.” I was collecting my clutch and shoving my feet back into my heels.   
“Is it the hospital?” He asked this seriously.  
“Oh no it’s…”   
“Nothing that can't wait then. Come come Katrina.” He grabbed my arm and waist in what I am sure looked like a gentlemanly manner. But felt like a harness crushing me. I flinched just a little. Nothing noticeable. But I saw Karev’s eyes darken. While this was happening the call was cut off and my phone started to ring again.   
“I really need to send of a message if I can.” I said sweetly. “Nonsense! We need you now. You are such a delight my dear!” He took my phone and handed it to Karev. “You send a message telling them that the lovely Katrina is busy.” Then I was rugged away with my mouth agape. The gall! The rudeness! And was that his hand creeping down my waist. I was so frustrated I didn’t know whether to cry or scream! I decided to act civil. This man was in charge of the hospital, or part of it anyway. I was civil and courteous but I could manage to smile. As the hour went on Mr. Bradford got handsier. It was when he jerked me by my arm that I stumbled a little. I looked around for some help. I saw Kepner, Grey, Avery, and Karev talking at the table I had been dragged from. Every so often their gaze would wonder to where I was standing with Mr. Bradford.   
I was dragged over to the bar cart again. “You know my dear you are absolutely ravishing tonight. Now tell me, what would you like to do in our little hospital and I will see if I can arrange. After all, we are becoming such good friends.” He smiled at me and then downed a whiskey. At this point I had enough and I was feeling unsafe. I was shaking a little as his fingers casually went up and down my upper arm. I didn’t know what to do. I had never been in a situation like this before. I could feel my breath increase in intensity. I was starting to have a panic attack. I was panicking and not fighting. I always looked down at the girl who couldn’t speak up and now I was becoming one. I was never in a position like this before. I have always been surrounded by family and friends. And now my family has been ignored and they are probably angry. What if the doctors are angry with me? What if that’s why they keep staring? What if no one helps? Oh God I’m surrounded by people but so alone. I was panting as quietly as I could now.   
“There you are Dr. Gianatino. We need to get back to the hospital. If you’ll excuse us Mr. Bradford.” My rescuer grabbed my arm gently from Mr. Bradford and escorted me out of the ballroom without another word. Once the doors closed he quickened our pace toward the lobby and brought us to a set of family bathrooms. He opened a door and shoved us in one of them.   
“Are you going to be ok?” He asked I nodded silently and looked down. I felt so utterly ashamed. I was here tonight to represent the strongest and smartest and here I was a weakling silenced by her own fear. I started to make my way to the sink and stumbled a little. My breath was still coming in short pants but I was calming slowly. Karev steadied me but putting his hands in my shoulders. His palms were wide and calloused. He had strong hands. The warmth his palms provided felt great on my clammy skin. He directed me to the sink. I cupped the water and drank it in. The. I reached into my clutch and grabbed a pill, ignoring my audience. Before I could put it away Karev grabbed the prescription bottle. “Anxiety?” He looked to me. My head was still down. “Yes.” I breathed. I snatched the pills and put them back in my clutch. “You can’t tell the others. They would use it against me.” I looked for my phone while saying this. Not seeing it, I finally looked up in Karev's face. I studied it for a moment. He had worry lines on his forehead. A little crease between his eyebrows. His mouth was straight. A wire look when I was so used to a crooked smile or smirk. It was his eyes that really unsettled me though. His cinnamon brown eyes, a much lighter brown than my own looked at me with worry.   
Not wanting to look at his concerned face I held out my palm and stared at that. “Do you still have my phone?” I asked in a whisper.   
He placed the phone in my hand. “Why are you whispering? Normally I can hear your voice from across the ER.” I was whispering because it kept my voice steady. With my many confusing emotions swirling around in my head I was only seconds from crying. I checked my phone not answering him. I no missed calls or texts. I looked back up at him with questions in my eyes.   
He dropped the subject. But his eyes said for now. “I talked to your mom and explained that Hunt had you entertaining. I’m gonna kill him later.” He started to pace in the small bathroom. “God I gave you such a hard time today. So it was your family calling all day?” He asked. I looked at the floor and decided it was clean enough. I leaned against the wall and slid down. The tile was cool against my exposed flesh. I brushed my hair over one shoulder to experience this small pleasure. Karev's eyes followed the movement with a surprising intensity.   
“Yes, it’s my birthday.” I looked at the phone. “Well for the next hour anyway.” My breath was coming strong and evenly now. The corners of my eyes were suspiciously wet. I dabbed at them quickly. I was not sad. Just angry and frustrated and the entire world. Karev sighed. Then nodded as if coming to a decision. “Alright, let’s get out of here. I’m starving. Wanna a pizza?” He asked and squatted down in front of me. I wasn’t hungry, but I sure didn’t want to go home to an empty apartment right now. I nodded compliantly. He offered me both hands to pull me up from the floor. He turned to the door. “Wait” I told him serenely. I looked at myself in the mirror. You could hardly tell anything happened. I might have a slight bruise on my arm tomorrow but that was it. I brushed my fingers through my hair and reapplied my lipstick. “You look great Prodigy. Let’s get out of here.” Karev told me a little impatiently.   
“Katrina. Call me Katrina.” I told him. “Alex” he said. His body was now a solid wall unintentionally blocking the door. I was standing close to him on account of the sink being next to the door. My breasts just barely brushed across him. As light as a feather, but I felt my nipple tighten in response to the proximity. “Well let’s go.”   
“Right” his face searched mine for something. I could not for the life of me guess what for. But then he opened the door. He put his arm around my shoulders and rubbed the one his hand rested on, sharing his warmth with me. Shepard and Grey were standing outside. Grey was leaning on Shepard a little. They looked at us and we looked back. “Everything good?” Shepard asked. Something, a silent conversation passed between Alex and Shepard. They both seemed to nod and Alex replied with “Yeah. We are gonna grab a pizza to celebrate her birthday.” Both Shepard and Grey smiled. “Have fun then.” They turned and Shepard muttered something into Grey’s neck and she giggled like a schoolgirl. I smiled a little. They were a weird couple but madly in love. Everyone knew about the intern and attending story. The forbidden romance. It was sweet.   
Alex ushered me to his car. He opened the door like a gentleman and started to drive us out onto the main drag. “So you’re Italian right? I mean you have to be with a name like that.”  
“Yes. Katrina Lilliana Gianatino. That’s not counting my confirmation name by the way.” I turned to look at him. He smiled while keeping his eyes on the road. “No wonder you’re a genius. God, that must have been fun to write in preschool.” I laughed a genuine laugh this time. “Oh yeah. They went overboard teaching me reading and writing skills because of it. But it paid off.” I smiled at him. His smiled changed to one I had never before seen. Not nostalgic but something similar. “You’re real lucky you know. Having a family like yours. By the way, half the population of Florida was in your house wishing you a happy birthday.” He informed me. “That would be my family and yeah. They are pretty great. I wouldn’t be me without them.” I smiled.   
“Meredith was right. You are bright and shiny.” He said this to me as we parked at some restaurant. “I’m what? “ I asked him as I got out of the car. “Shiny. You know, nothing bad happens to you.” I looked at him incredulously. “I’m at restaurant with my boss on Friday the 13th, because some old dude got drunk and stupid.” I said to him. I started to shiver in the nights cool breeze. Alex looked at me and started to take off his grey suit jacket. “Don’t you have one of those scarf things?”  
“A shall? No I’m Florida. We don’t believe in the cold.” I informed him while putting on his jacket. I sighed in comfort as was suddenly immersed in warmth and the familiar cinnamon smell that was Alex’s cologne. He laughed, eyes relaxing for the first time tonight. He looked so much younger when he relaxed. I could see hints of what could only be labeled as mischievousness and boyish charm revealed as his worry dissipated.   
“Oh well in that case give me my jacket back. It’s freezing out here.” He commanded. Release my cinnamon smelling warmth? Not a chance.   
“Not a chance. I’m finally warm.” I told him and ran ahead to enter the restaurant. The restaurant turned out to be a pizza and bar kind of place called the “Pizza Shack”. I was turned around looking at Alex’s smiling face to almost ran into the host. Luckily Alex steadied me by grabbing onto my shoulders. Alex told the kid we wanted a table and we sat down. Horribly overdressed we stood out like a sore thumb. Both of us receiving glances of interest.   
“Hello, what can I get you two tonight?” A perky blonde haired waitress said to us.   
“I’ll have a Budweiser.”  
“Cranberry Vodka please.” I ordered and looked up at her. She was still looking at Alex, who was looking at me.   
“Sure, let me know when you’re ready to order!”she turned and headed to the bar her ponytail swishing behind her. I was still freezing. The bar was surprisingly cold. I sat in my hands and huddled into the warmth of Alex’s jacket.   
“So, you wanna talk about what happened tonight?” His warm eyes were unblinking and unflinching, their gaze resting on my face, looking for any slight muscle movement to give away my thoughts.   
“Nothing to tell. Drunk rich guy thought he could control the tiny young girl. When he is sober tomorrow he will pretend that nothing happened.” I took a long sip of the drink that they waitress just put down. She grabbed a pen and prepared to take our orders. “Do you guys know what you would like to eat?” She asked. I hadn’t looked at the menu so I looked over to Alex. “We will split a pizza. Cheese is fine.” I smiled and. Order in agreement. There is something to be said for plain cheese pizza at night. “I’m gonna need another drink too please.” I informed her. She reluctantly dragged her eyes away from Alex to glance at me and smile. “No prob!” She said and grabbed our useless menus and walked away.   
“I was talking about the pills.” Alex corrected me. “Oh, I’ve had anxiety since I was like 7. No big deal.” I continued to drink. The vodka gave me the false feeling of warmth which I desperately craved. “I was always worrying about everything. And I embarrassingly got my first panic attack in PE. Luckily I could play it off as asthma so the other kids didn’t know.” Hmmm. I wasn’t planning on saying that last bit. Oh well. “Why the hell would you pick surgery as a career if you have a panic attack disorder?” He looked at me like a crazy person. “Because I am a surgeon. When I am worrying about something else I feel fine. When I’m with someone else all my attention, all my senses are focused on their needs. Not mine.”  
“So I don’t need to worry about you in the OR?” He asked me. “If you ever let me touch a scalpel again the only thing you need to worry about is me outshining everyone in there.” I smirked as I teased him. “I have no doubt.” He smiled at me. Our pizza and another drink for me arrived. “Mmmm.” I sighed with pleasure as inhaled the familiar scents or garlic and basil. I grabbed three slices and started to chow down. “Do I need to leave you four alone?” Alex smirked at me. I started to laugh so hard I was snorted. Then I started laughing even more.   
“Alright. No more drinking for you.” He was laughing as he said this. “No no no no no. I’m thirsty mine.” I giggled and downed my drink. “Besides I’m the birthday girl. I get to do what I want.” I informed him cheekily. “Alright birthday girl. Eat up.” He commanded me. We both ate for a few moments in silence. Then I sighed. “This is the first birthday I have had without my family you know. I kinda hate Hunt. I had plans to talk with all of them tonight. I was excited to have my place be noisy, if only for a little while. I didn’t even get to make a wish!” I slammed my hands on the table. “Well someone is a little spoiled.” He commented.   
“Well sorry I am used to being loved!” I yelled this kinda loud. “Being away from home is great for a little while, but being so far sucks! Don’t you have family? You must understand.” I reasoned with him.   
“Nope. My mom is crazy and I have no idea where my dad is.” He informed me. This made me feel terrible. “Alex I…” I was Interrupted by the waitress.   
“Can I get you all anything else?” She came over and asked. “Yes do you have a dessert menu?” She pulled one out and handed it to me I glanced at it quick.  
“Do you guys do anything for birthdays Alex asked?” His eyes held revenge in them.   
“Skip that. I don’t eat cake anyway. I’ll have a Sunday please.” I told her and she walked away.   
“Who doesn’t eat cake?” Alex looked at me like I grew a second head. “People allergic to eggs.” I informed him. “Man that sucks.” He said to me. I smiled at him. “Keeps me from getting fat. Listen Alex. I am so sorry about complaining earlier. I didn’t know …”   
“Don’t worry about it. You should apologize for having a good family ever.” He said that last part fiercely. I smiled, but I know it didn’t reach my eyes. The ice cream came over to the table. Alex sat up a little and dug something out of his pockets.   
The something turned out to be a lighter. “Look I’m a lousy replacement for your family. And I can’t fix the bad day you had. But here, I can give you a wish. Don’t know if it counts without a cake though. You weirdo.” He smiled to let me know he was joking. He lit the lighter and held it over the ice cream.   
“Make a wish.”


End file.
